From Average to Exceptional: My Son's Journey with Intensity

Intensity is a powerful force, capable of transforming the game and elevating those around us.

My son's recent soccer training was a display of intense effort. He was on fire, moving with purpose and determination on the field. His passion and drive were contagious, inspiring his teammates and elevating their play as well.

In a memorable split-second moment, my son received the ball and, with a burst of speed, dribbled past several defenders, and blasted the ball into the net, celebrating with a triumphant fist pump and exuberant little dance.

Push past self-imposed limitations to a new level

I've seen intensity before, in boardroom battles and in coaching founders and leaders under pressure, and it was clear that something was driving my son beyond his usual capabilities. Whether it was a newfound confidence or a deeper internal drive, he pushed past his self-imposed limitations and performed at a completely new level.

His behavior embodied a newfound focus. What was the source of his enhanced intensity? Why now?

When I asked, he simply replied: “I just felt really good, dad.”

I’ve pondered that training session for the last week. One thing did change, and it wasn’t my son.

I recalled saying to him before the session:

“Don’t play for me, or anyone else tonight, … but I’m giving you just one challenge: enjoy yourself more than anyone else on the field, ok?!”.

I didn't event think he heard me.

Look forward and play your best possible game right now

Sometimes I struggle being a good parent, and focus too much on critiquing -- getting better at something (past behavior), rather than helping my son to “just” look forward, and play the best possible game right now, in the moment.

On the way home from practice we did our usual post-mortem. This time he told me I was the greatest dad in the world.

Maybe that’s the lesson for becoming a better coach, and learning to be a great dad.